Written by Ingrid Boucher
It has always been on the back of my mind… I wondered what had stopped me from developing further in my career, and going even further, what held me back from jumping the gun and switching up careers earlier. Was it self-doubt? Confidence? Comparison? Commitment? All of them had something in common: they were excuses.
But somehow, I would always make them sound like justifications, maybe as a way to “rightfully” steer away from hard truths or for fear of the unknown I had not thought of. As I started researching on the subject, I soon realised I had confused the meaning of excuse.
Making excuses, justifications or overjustification... Those terms I found were broadly used and oftentimes confused. So if like me you are wondering what is sometimes holding you back from performing a task or accepting more responsibilities, you may be doing one of the three.
Excuses, excuses... Why thou have to justify thyself?
What we often feel is an "excuse" we define as "justification", which as per definition, I could easily see why we get confused on its usage:
Justification is "an acceptable reason or explanation for it".
But here is the trick: excuses and justifications are not the same. While on a very similar level, the difference indeed lies in "the nature of the reason". I could go on a very semantic journey, but looking at a task or life event not actioned, whether you have a justification or an excuse matters.
To illustrate, I will take you on my writing journey:
I can't do it, I am busy:
“It is Monday morning and I am writing a blog post. That post is a responsibility, a task I must complete and submit to be published. I could have done it this weekend, I had time, yet I could not bring myself to do it until today.
If I am honest, I wasn't feeling it, plain and simple. But responsibility demands a reason why this wasn't done. So I gave myself excuses from having to study for an exam to come, extra tasks which I could not say “no” to and meeting friends last minute. But this wasn't entirely true. The truth is, I took on too much because I didn't know where to start, was burnt from the get-go and could only stare at a blank page. And that is justification.
Taking a step back and Monday coming, the post was written because I finally had the right mindset to do it”.
Truth, responsibility and taking ownership of our actions are paramount in preventing the overuse of excuses and getting things done. But more than bashing ourselves for not performing, we need to know why we are doing it. Beyond finding excuses there is a real mental showdown to why we may sometimes hold back.
Validate the feelings but fight the saboteur
Because we give reasons to our actions, excuses very often fall into the “justification's realm” and our brain craftily moulds our consciousness into believing “it is the way it is”. In order to get things done and get to the next steps, you have to realise your “reasons” cannot always be the truth and those very “reasons” may be why you are still on a path you should have walked away from, ages ago.
- It starts with a deconstruction of your thought process. Always. By now, you know it is step one in moving anything forward.
- Find the actual reason to why you sabotage yourself by making excuses and validate those feelings: No-one disrupts one's self for the sake of doing it.
- Once you find the core of why you are unable to move forward, take a step back, allow some time for analysis and patience.
We often feel like the world is against us in our setbacks or missed opportunities. But if you look on the inside, was it really the world that stopped you from doing anything? All of us have at least that one time, that one success which is a beacon to hold onto when in doubt. That time, I can assure you, you just went ahead and it worked. Do it again.
References:
https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/excuse
https://academic.oup.com/edited-volume/28240/chapter-abstract/213325532?redirectedFrom=fulltext&login=false
https://thedecisionlab.com/biases/overjustification-effect
https://letstalkaboutmentalhealth.com.au/2024/03/17/excuses/
